well, i have had the suggestion of using capistrano from guys in rubyonrails on freenode irc, rails forum, and now here. .guess i should take the hint..
Capistrano takes a bit of work to get set up, but once it's working it is sooooo nice.
really, i want to, i am already using an off-site hosted subversion, and installing it on our server at work would be easy enough, i know very little about how it all works right now. What i have been doing, is making updates and changes on webrick, and when i like it, i copy the app folder over to the http folder on apache, change ownership to the webserver user, and restart apache.
If your svn server is off-site, i don't believe that should be a problem. Capistrano can automate commit/deploy.
So.... I may get the chance to do this when we upgrade our server next week. Should read up on it till then, just kinda looking for something to help me out until then.
This thread has Rob McBroom's “Remote Project” bundle. I haven't used it, but you might give a shot to hold you over.